Developing an attitude of gratitude

25th August 2021

In 1968 The Scaffold had a hit record with a song called “Thank You Very Much” in which they expressed gratitude for the Aintree Iron (whatever that is!), the birds and bees, and assorted other things. Allegedly it was the Queen Mother’s favourite song!

It turns out that the song had hidden depths because saying “thank you” is much more than mere politeness: the attitude of gratitude – feeling and expressing gratitude – is a key part of well-being.

Research shows that people who practise gratitude report a host of benefits:

• stronger immune systems and lower blood pressure
• higher levels of positive emotions like joy and optimism
• acting with more generosity and compassion
• feeling less lonely and isolated.

But what is gratitude?

In his book, “How to Want What You Have” Timothy Miller identifies gratitude as “the intention to count your blessings every day while avoiding the belief that you need or deserve different circumstances”.

Robert Emmons, professor of Psychology at UC Davis, and a leading expert on gratitude, defines gratitude as “a felt sense of wonder, thankfulness and appreciation for life”.

This counting of blessings or sense of appreciation for life can be experienced in relation to all sorts of things from our every day experiences – like enjoying the sight of a flower – to less frequent experiences like getting a new job.

Seven ways feeling gratitude increases our wellbeing

• It involves us noticing and savouring our positive experiences;
• It is an affirmation of goodness – that there are good things in the world, gifts and benefits that we have received.
• It neutralises negative emotions like envy, resentment, regret, anxiety or depression (try and feel any of these while feeling grateful!)
• It helps us to see that the sources of goodness are outside of ourselves. We acknowledge that other people – or even higher powers, if you are of a spiritual mindset – give us many gifts.
• It strengthens social relationships because it enables us to see how we have been supported and affirmed by other people and to recognise that we could not be who we are or where we are in life without the contributions of others
• It increases our sense of personal worth in that we acknowledge that someone else thinks we are worth helping
• It motivates us to do things for others: grateful people are more helpful and altruistic.

Thank Heavens for Gratitude!

Fortunately, gratitude is a skill or habit that we can learn just as we can learn any other skill, and research shows that we can make significant improvements to our enjoyment of life and our happiness by undertaking activities requiring only a few minutes each week. Here are three things that we can do:

1. Notice and Savour:

Make a conscious effort to notice beauty and pleasures in your daily life – and express gratitude for them. The more we do it, the more it will become an unconscious habit. And don’t just go for the obvious, like beautiful sunsets or delicious food. Look around and see if there are other things you can feel grateful for – large or small – and really take time to savour them and feel gratitude for them.

2. Keep a Gratitude Diary:

Once a week, set aside a few minutes to list five things which for which you are grateful over the last week: it could be a seeing a beautiful flower; enjoying a conversation with a friend; getting a pay rise; or spending time with your family.

3. Affectionate Writing

Think about someone you love and spend 20 minutes writing about why they mean so much to you. Research showed that doing this three times over the course of five weeks had a dramatic effect on the people who did it – a marked increase in happiness, a reduction in stress and even a significant decrease in cholesterol levels.